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Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.
Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.
I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.
A raise is like a martini. It elevates the spirit, but only temporarily.
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every 12 minutes one is interrupted by 12 dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
I planned each chartered course, each careful step along the byway, and more, much more than this, I did it my way.
Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. There's so little hope for advancement.
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.
Swinging from building to building! Running around in a hot costume. Sometimes, I wonder why.
Trying to hit Sandy Koufax was like trying to drink coffee with a fork.
Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.
Fiddle, we know, is diddle: and diddle, we take it, is dee.
Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.
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