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Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.
That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Any idiot can face a crisis. It's this day-to-day living that wears you out.
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.
We are all worms, but I do believe that I'm a glow-worm.
To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.
Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically for our mutual good.
The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them.
My parents keep asking how school was. It's like saying, "How was that drive-by shooting?" You don't care how it WAS, you're lucky to get out alive."
Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand.
I believe that professional wrestling is clean and everything else in the world is fixed.
We spend the first twelve months of our childrens lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
There are too many people walking around thinking they're sacred cows, and they're only half right.
The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.
There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate's loot on Treasure Island.
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